We have made it to month 2 everyone! (Well, a little over)
The ups and downs have been nothing short of a whiplash experience. For those of you who are new here, I have cut all contact with my mother. My narcissistic abuser. It has been 2 months without contact and man it is a surreal feeling. There are days where I am sad and want to reach out, but those are the leftover strings of hope still tugging at my heart. Every time I have that thought, almost immediately my mother does something that I find out via my sister or grandmother that reminds me why I do not need to do so.
I know what some of you are saying/asking…. But this is your mother. EXACTLY! This is my mother. How could she do this? How could she treat me this way? I have made many excuses for this behavior. I have found empathy for the little girl who my mother was and the loss of her youth from becoming a teenage mom. I have reasoned with some unknown issues she may have that have never been dealt with. At some point though, you have to ask yourself… Why is this on me to forgive this? Why can she not make the decision to try to do something differently?
Becoming a parent myself, is what showed me that this is a decision, not something that we (as parents) are not in control of. We can always get help, be better, make a choice, and put our children first. Yes, we are people and we make mistakes, but it is how we handle those mistakes and also how severe those mistakes are. All people lose their temper at least once in their life but not everyone expresses that anger through hatred and violence. That is a choice. The things that happen in your life are lessons to learn from, they are things to teach others through, experiences to pull from of what to do or not to do in your own life or parenting.
There is just no excuse… Happy two months (a little more lol) to me and I can’t wait to see where this journey takes us.
Simply,
Miss Shay
Simply Miss Shay 